Support

Drug or alcohol addiction can impact on the health and well-being of family and friends, as well as on the individual with drug or alcohol problems. People close to a drug or alcohol user may find themselves caught up in the trauma of addiction; helplessness, isolation and feelings of desperation are very common. VIRRTUE provides support in the community to help family members, partners or friends to regain control over their own lives, whether or not the drug or alcohol user is also receiving help. Services include advice, information and signposting, support groups or individual counselling. VIRRTUE supports people in recovery from addiction and ex-offenders to reconnect with family members and friends and to build and maintain healthy relationships.

People close to those who are struggling with an addiction, especially parents, find themselves wondering if something they have done might have caused it. Families commonly experience powerlessness and terrible guilt, mulling over and regretting past actions or reactions. However, family members must keep in mind that a user is responsible for the choices they make and for their behaviour. This includes whether they use drugs and/or alcohol. Only the person misusing substances can make the choice to use or not use them, and only they can decide to stop.
Addiction is considered by many to be a family illness, and in order for both the addict and family member to recover, both need help to move forwards. Looking to apportion blame can feel like a natural reaction for both parties but is helpful for no one.
It is a natural part of life that we make mistakes along the way. Trying to blame ourselves or others for them does not help, but prevents us from moving forward and keeps us stuck in a place of desperation and despair.

Drug and alcohol users can behave very erratically and it can be difficult to know how to act around them. Substance misuse often encourages people to act in very distressing ways. Perhaps they have become aggressive, angry and violent, or distant and cold?

Sometimes your family member will engage in criminal behaviour and may spend time in prison as result. Dealing with addiction and imprisonment can be very traumatic for you and your family, particularly if children are involved.
 
Seeing someone you love and care about struggling to cope can often make family members and friends feel very powerless. It can also be overwhelming having to deal with what may seem like a never-ending list of challenging issues.
 
A good place to start helping is to gain an understanding of addiction and treatment.  
Joining a support group or attending an information session or drop-in for family members or friends can be a good way to find out more about addiction and treatment. Knowledge is definitely power, and families and friends who can learn about drugs and alcohol, its effects on the user and their family are better placed to deal with it. 

Addiction affects everyone in the family, which is why it is commonly referred to as a “family disease”. Parents, partners, siblings and children all develop coping mechanisms to help, “fix” or protect the addict and to cope emotionally themselves.

Patterns of behaviour within a family or system that is trying to cope with addiction become stuck and often unhealthy. The family becomes reactive; wanting to control, rescue, halt or change members in order that they conform and stop threatening the status quo.

These patterns emerge as a result of constantly trying to cope with high levels of stress, uncertainty and erratic behaviours.

This is no one’s fault and families do all they can to do what they feel is right in a situation, which can often prove unrelenting and extremely bewildering. Without support, family members and friends can feel that they are constantly under siege.

If families and friends are helped to identify some of these unhealthy patterns of behaviour and learn new and healthier ways to cope and react, they can significantly improve their own mental and physical well-being.

There is also good evidence to suggest that when family members access help in their own right, this results in considerable positive effects on their substance misusing loved ones. This often includes a reduction in drug use, better communication and falling levels of stress and anxiety.

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📞  +27 (63) 499 6158 📞 +27 (82) 498 1575 ​​ 📞  +27 (78) 803 7602  📧 virrtue.info@gmail.com